【第一部分】 第一章（3） 【Part 1】 Chapter 1(3)
He’s skilled in kissing techniques. As our lips and teeth locked, I begin to submerge into an incoherent state of subconsciousness . His familiar commanding breath is overwhelming as it swallows my breathing completely. I feel a slight sting of pain when he impatiently nibbles on my lips, so I swing my arms around his neck to show my reciprocation.
 Tong Xue uses a Chinese phase yi luan qing mi which translates as a “confused state of mind and absorbed in the sensation of love.” This phase is often used to describe people who are head over heels in love and cannot think coherently.
Perhaps our two-month long separation has some magical effect. Didn’t someone say “there’s beauty in being apart for a long time”? Anyway, he seems to have quickly fallen into my deception, wrapping his arms around me to carry me across his chest and bring me up upstairs.
There’s something wrong with him today. Once we got in bed, I realize how mercilessly ruthless he can get. He treats me as if I’m an enemy he needs to seek revenge against. Mo Shaoqian, at least on normal occasions, is a beast disguised in human clothes. But once in bed, he’s worse than an animal.
During the first six months together, I got scared whenever I was in sight of a bed. When he came to visit me, I just wanted to hide in the bathroom for the rest of my life — never to come out. Only later when he would slowly coax me, and I also put some effort into the process, did the experience slightly improved.
But who knew today he would shed his facade and reveal his true nature again? He intends to punish me to death. I feel like I’m a piece of fried pancake, being fried on a fuming hot oil pan — fried to the point where I feel like all my organs are going to crack into pieces.
In the end, I didn’t even have the energy to cry anymore. I could only pitifully beg him for mercy. But even begging failed to work, he just went on incessantly, ignoring my life and death pleas. When he finally tired himself out, I lacked the energy to even take my arms out from underneath his body.
I vaguely slept for a short while and quickly woke up. Mo Shaoqian, in an unusual occurrence, is also dead asleep. Short strands of hair from his forehead are pressed against the white pillow; his expression looks seemingly serene and peaceful like a little child.
Shit! This jerk possesses the good looks that can fool everyone’s eyes.
I struggled to get up and went back to my own room to sleep.
It’s not that I’m being a prude. It’s because Mo Shaoqian is an asshole. He complained that I have terrible sleeping postures. Said I would kick around in bed, while he requires absolute silence in his surrounding to sleep. So every time we finish the deed, I have to tumble out of his bed to go back to my own room.
Yueying is right. That ass is the emperor and I’m like a concubine who must abide to his command and service him in bed. Actually, I'm worst off than those concubines. At least for them, after they performed their duty for the emperor, they had eunuchs to carry them back. As for me, I have to crawl back myself.
I’m really dead tired. I threw myself onto the bed and snuggled my head against the pillow, falling asleep within moments. And even forgot to lock my door.
The consequences of forgetting to lock my door was having the beast wake me up again in the middle the night. In darkness, I just wanted to weep when I saw his eyes. “I’m tired”
As his burning lips lay a kiss my collarbone, he whispers in muddle tone, “You can be tired in a moment.”
If things continue like this, I’m going to die from his torture. There are still a whole lot of handsome hunks I haven’t dawdled with, a whole batch of essays I haven’t written, a whole bunch of money I haven’t earned… It’s totally not worth to die in this manner. So, I forced myself to liven up and let him eat his fill — to his heart’s content till the end.
It was god-awfully exhausting. I later fell asleep without waking up again till morning. When I woke up, the bones throughout my whole body felt painfully sore. As I turned my head to my side, I almost gave myself a heart attack. To suddenly stare at Mo Shaoqian’s face at close range first thing in the early morning, who wouldn’t be freaked out by that? I didn’t expect him to fall asleep on my bed last night.
I’m quite abhorred by my unflattering sleeping posture. My leg just rests ostentatiously across his belly. With caution, I immediately try to remove it. Unfortunately, he gets awakened by my movement. When he opens his eyes, I can feel the air in the room just suddenly turns suffocating. Though his drowsy eyes does make him look more benign and harmless. His heavy inhalation sounds like he plans to sleep some more. Rarely does he look so amicable. “Morning.”
I quickly respond with a wide smile, “Morning.”
Son of b*itch. Living with such person comes with too much stress. It’s just a matter of time before I get a heart attack.
I learned to cuss a lot after being with Mo Shaoqian. Every time he bullied me into a corner, my curses would travel back to 18 generations of his lineage. Of course, I wouldn’t dare to curse in front of him. If I have the guts to do so in his presence, I think I could dive into the deep ocean to catch a water dragon or climb up a mountain to trap a tiger.
The bright morning sun radiates as I eat my breakfast surrounded by freshly bloomed roses in the flower house, a structure constructed from glass. The roses that the gardener watered in the early morning still has droplets of dew left on their petals.
Bread with butter and pure milk — the porcelain tableware is the most expensively rare bone china from England. The price of a single teacup is probably enough to pay for my annual school tuition. This is so-called the decadent life of excessive/ evil lifestyle of a capitalist.
I’m not the capitalist. Mo Shaoqian is the capitalist.
资本家吃早餐，我看报纸。我之所以在吃早餐的时候看报纸是跟电视学的，TVB里的老爷都是边吃早餐边看报纸的，不过人看的肯定是英文财经，而我订的是八卦小报。The capitalist is eating breakfast while I read the newspaper. I only learned to read the newspaper during breakfast time from watching TV series. In TVB  dramas, the old patriarchs always read the newspaper while they eat their breakfast. However, I’m sure they read the English business columns while I subscribe to the gossip reports/tabloid.
 A famous Hong Kong's broadcasting company that excels in producing TV series about family feuds and business rivalry/competition.
Comment: Now we understand why Tong Xue nicknamed Mo Shaoqian "the beast." He is no herbivore. In their early days, Mo Shaoqian was inexperienced sexually plus he bored strong hatred for her father, so he treated Tong Xue rather callously during their intercourse. For some readers, this horrendous start in their relationship made it very difficult to forgive Mo Shaoqian no matter how much he atoned for his wrongdoings in the end.
Mo Shaoqian is destined to pay heavily for the evils he committed against Tong Xue. I think nothing will hurt Mo Shaoqian more than make him fall in love with the very person he cannot love and remorse for hurting the woman he ends up loving most in the world.
© 2011, JoleCole. All rights reserved.